The Worst Criminals of All
Planet Relead is very mountainous and horizontal surfaces are rare. The valleys are filled with carbon dioxide and the peaks are surrounded by clouds of methane. It is only on the slopes in between that the bat-like Releadi make their homes in oxygenated air. The vegetation is often black.
On the planet Relead crime is up almost 200% so Nate travels there to investigate. Before he can meet with the local police and introduce himself, he starts receiving anonymous threats that he cannot trace, making him even jumpier than normal. He eventually reports the threats to the police.
The next day Nate is able to trace the threats. They came from inside the police station! Minutes later, an officer arrives outside Nate’s ship with an official order to give up both his gun and spaceship. Quotes from Nate’s official statement the day before have been taken out of context and misinterpreted in such a way to make it appear Nate threatened the police.
“Since both my life and property have been threatened since I landed on this world, is it really wise for me to give up my gun and spaceship?” Nate asks.
“We can offer you protection,” the officer says.
“Since the police of Relead have already shown hostility towards me by issuing this order and mischaracterizing my words, is it really wise to believe you?” Nate asks.
“I am authorized to use whatever force necessary to ensure your compliance,” the officer says.
“Well, when you put it that way I suppose I have no choice,” Nate says. He slowly pulls his gun out of his holster and hands it over. “Here you go.” Just as the officer reaches for it, Nate swings the gun into firing position and blows a hole straight through the officer’s head.
Next Nate materializes his ship inside the police station and destroys it from within with his laser cannons. One officer gets inside the ship and succumbs to the toxic gas Nate had previously filled his ship with in preparation. Opening all hatches, Nate floods the station with gas, killing all the police that have not already fled.
Nate retrieves as many records as he can and discovers that fully 60% of all crime on the planet is imaginary! The police cause more problems than they solve! Almost at random they find people to be suspicious of, holding them until they can build up a case against them. With enough data they can always find patterns enough to claim the suspect a threat that needs to be preemptively imprisoned. Since their actions are sometimes resisted with violence even by otherwise non-violent people, they create violence that never would have happened if they had minded their own business. Nate’s own file shows that police first noticed him only because his ship’s serial number differs in only one digit from that of another “criminal” convicted of threatening the police department several years ago. The supposed threat? He said that someone ought to do something to protect people from the police.
There is no higher authority to complain to. Police all across the planet are hopelessly corrupt. What Nate sees as compelling evidence of police misbehavior the police will simply see as evidence against the criminals already collected. Nate has only two choices. He can escape the planet for his own safety or he can stay and fight for the Releadi citizens. Remembering his superhero badge he takes it out and looks at it. “I am a hero.” He must do something, but he isn't sure what to do. How can he fight the whole planet? “Wait a minute, the superheroes will listen to me. I have a badge!”
Nate speeds towards the planet of the superheroes to inform them of the situation. However, a message from the Releadi police precedes him, accusing him of murder and destruction of a police station. This turns some of the superheroes against Nate, dividing them against each other. “Why didn't you come to us first?” they demand.
“They were taking away my ship and I thought they might kill me. I had no hope of ever getting a fair trial and had I cooperated I would never have been able to send you a message. Had I not attacked the police station, I would have had no evidence to show you,” Nate says.
“Shouldn't we always give the local authorities the benefit of the doubt?” one superhero speaks up.
“I did – and they blew it. There was nothing else I could have done. There was nothing else I should have done,” Nate says. “The least bad thing to do in those circumstances is to kill as many police as possible.”
Another superhero speaks up. “The Releadi were right. You are a threat!”
Nate turns slowly and stares hard at him. “I'm only going to say this once. I am the most peace loving being you will ever meet. I mean no harm to anyone. I am no threat, but accuse me of threatening you again and I will feed you a smoothie made of your own toes.”
“See! You have all heard him with your own ears! This creature is a menace to civili-accck!” Nate grabs him by the face with his talons and electrocutes him so hard his cape catches on fire. Instantly, both Nate and his victim are held frozen in place by a blue light sent by one of the others. The superheroes argue among themselves. Half take the side of the police and half take Nate’s side. Some even suggest that the one sending the blue light should have allowed Nate to continue his attack. The discussion grows ever more heated until one caped crusader shouts “Enough!!!” and then proceeds to stab the others one at a time with his high-speed tongue. The venom acts quickly to cancel all superpowers. No one is sure which side venom-tongue is on and they all attack him and each other until everyone in the room is dead except for Nate and the other superhero still trapped in the blue light.
It takes three hours for the light to wear off enough for them to push their way out of it. “Now see what you've done!” the superhero says, his face rapidly healing from the electricity.
“Me? You did this!” Nate says.
“I don't want to fight about it. We both acted like super villains. It's time to work together now,” he says.
Nate bristles at being called a super villain but he holds his tongue. “Fine, I grant you what little mercy I have left.”
The superhero is named The Swapper and among his powers is the ability to transpose any two objects (including himself) that he has touched in the past. With Nate he comes up with a plan to protect the innocent without fighting the police. It is supposed to be a peaceful solution. By getting himself arrested he is able to get in contact with the other prisoners and swap them with objects he has left outside the prison. He is then able to swap himself out as well and later into the next prison. Because there are millions of prisoners on the planet there's no time to screen for the ones that are actually guilty. Everyone is released. Massive revolts occur. The former prisoners make war against the police. Relead descends into anarchy. Those who escape being killed in the riots succumb to starvation. One third of the population dies. The largest crime syndicate replaces the government and treats the citizens even worse than the police ever did. By this time many other superheroes are involved and they begin to doubt their methods. “I wonder if this might have been better if we left things alone,” one says.
“And allow injustice to continue?” Nate says. “That is not the superhero way. Need I remind you of the oath?”
The superheroes turn on the crime syndicate next. Another third of the population dies. Eventually a band of Releadi forms to defend their planet from the superheroes, calling them “foreign interventionists.” They are wiped out easily but not before The Swapper betrays the other superheroes by joining them. Nate outsmarts him by shooting an object into the sun he was planning on swapping places with at just the right time. The returning object is so hot it fries those in the room where The Swapper once was. Nate has taken out both the traitor and his accomplices with one stone.
At last the Releadi are extinct. For the first time in history the superheroes have committed genocide. “It is a tragedy but we did the right thing by protecting the rest of the galaxy from these incredibly evil people,” Nate says.
“I wish I could be sure. Sometimes it is wise to choose one's battles,” a superhero says.
A second superhero says, “Very true, but there was no way to know how the battle would evolve once it was chosen. I for one thought it would be over quickly, but we very nearly started a civil war amongst ourselves.”
“In any case I was never given the choice to battle. Remember, they attacked me first,” Nate says.
“But a true hero sacrifices himself for the good of the galaxy. That is also in the oath,” the first superhero says. “You could have obeyed the police in spite of the danger.”
“Perhaps you are right, but there was no way to know that at the time. If every superhero always obeyed everyone who gave them an order, evil would always win. Is it right to trade the uncertain future of civil war for the certainty of perpetuating evil?” Nate stares at the sky. “There was no way to know.”
On the planet Relead crime is up almost 200% so Nate travels there to investigate. Before he can meet with the local police and introduce himself, he starts receiving anonymous threats that he cannot trace, making him even jumpier than normal. He eventually reports the threats to the police.
The next day Nate is able to trace the threats. They came from inside the police station! Minutes later, an officer arrives outside Nate’s ship with an official order to give up both his gun and spaceship. Quotes from Nate’s official statement the day before have been taken out of context and misinterpreted in such a way to make it appear Nate threatened the police.
“Since both my life and property have been threatened since I landed on this world, is it really wise for me to give up my gun and spaceship?” Nate asks.
“We can offer you protection,” the officer says.
“Since the police of Relead have already shown hostility towards me by issuing this order and mischaracterizing my words, is it really wise to believe you?” Nate asks.
“I am authorized to use whatever force necessary to ensure your compliance,” the officer says.
“Well, when you put it that way I suppose I have no choice,” Nate says. He slowly pulls his gun out of his holster and hands it over. “Here you go.” Just as the officer reaches for it, Nate swings the gun into firing position and blows a hole straight through the officer’s head.
Next Nate materializes his ship inside the police station and destroys it from within with his laser cannons. One officer gets inside the ship and succumbs to the toxic gas Nate had previously filled his ship with in preparation. Opening all hatches, Nate floods the station with gas, killing all the police that have not already fled.
Nate retrieves as many records as he can and discovers that fully 60% of all crime on the planet is imaginary! The police cause more problems than they solve! Almost at random they find people to be suspicious of, holding them until they can build up a case against them. With enough data they can always find patterns enough to claim the suspect a threat that needs to be preemptively imprisoned. Since their actions are sometimes resisted with violence even by otherwise non-violent people, they create violence that never would have happened if they had minded their own business. Nate’s own file shows that police first noticed him only because his ship’s serial number differs in only one digit from that of another “criminal” convicted of threatening the police department several years ago. The supposed threat? He said that someone ought to do something to protect people from the police.
There is no higher authority to complain to. Police all across the planet are hopelessly corrupt. What Nate sees as compelling evidence of police misbehavior the police will simply see as evidence against the criminals already collected. Nate has only two choices. He can escape the planet for his own safety or he can stay and fight for the Releadi citizens. Remembering his superhero badge he takes it out and looks at it. “I am a hero.” He must do something, but he isn't sure what to do. How can he fight the whole planet? “Wait a minute, the superheroes will listen to me. I have a badge!”
Nate speeds towards the planet of the superheroes to inform them of the situation. However, a message from the Releadi police precedes him, accusing him of murder and destruction of a police station. This turns some of the superheroes against Nate, dividing them against each other. “Why didn't you come to us first?” they demand.
“They were taking away my ship and I thought they might kill me. I had no hope of ever getting a fair trial and had I cooperated I would never have been able to send you a message. Had I not attacked the police station, I would have had no evidence to show you,” Nate says.
“Shouldn't we always give the local authorities the benefit of the doubt?” one superhero speaks up.
“I did – and they blew it. There was nothing else I could have done. There was nothing else I should have done,” Nate says. “The least bad thing to do in those circumstances is to kill as many police as possible.”
Another superhero speaks up. “The Releadi were right. You are a threat!”
Nate turns slowly and stares hard at him. “I'm only going to say this once. I am the most peace loving being you will ever meet. I mean no harm to anyone. I am no threat, but accuse me of threatening you again and I will feed you a smoothie made of your own toes.”
“See! You have all heard him with your own ears! This creature is a menace to civili-accck!” Nate grabs him by the face with his talons and electrocutes him so hard his cape catches on fire. Instantly, both Nate and his victim are held frozen in place by a blue light sent by one of the others. The superheroes argue among themselves. Half take the side of the police and half take Nate’s side. Some even suggest that the one sending the blue light should have allowed Nate to continue his attack. The discussion grows ever more heated until one caped crusader shouts “Enough!!!” and then proceeds to stab the others one at a time with his high-speed tongue. The venom acts quickly to cancel all superpowers. No one is sure which side venom-tongue is on and they all attack him and each other until everyone in the room is dead except for Nate and the other superhero still trapped in the blue light.
It takes three hours for the light to wear off enough for them to push their way out of it. “Now see what you've done!” the superhero says, his face rapidly healing from the electricity.
“Me? You did this!” Nate says.
“I don't want to fight about it. We both acted like super villains. It's time to work together now,” he says.
Nate bristles at being called a super villain but he holds his tongue. “Fine, I grant you what little mercy I have left.”
The superhero is named The Swapper and among his powers is the ability to transpose any two objects (including himself) that he has touched in the past. With Nate he comes up with a plan to protect the innocent without fighting the police. It is supposed to be a peaceful solution. By getting himself arrested he is able to get in contact with the other prisoners and swap them with objects he has left outside the prison. He is then able to swap himself out as well and later into the next prison. Because there are millions of prisoners on the planet there's no time to screen for the ones that are actually guilty. Everyone is released. Massive revolts occur. The former prisoners make war against the police. Relead descends into anarchy. Those who escape being killed in the riots succumb to starvation. One third of the population dies. The largest crime syndicate replaces the government and treats the citizens even worse than the police ever did. By this time many other superheroes are involved and they begin to doubt their methods. “I wonder if this might have been better if we left things alone,” one says.
“And allow injustice to continue?” Nate says. “That is not the superhero way. Need I remind you of the oath?”
The superheroes turn on the crime syndicate next. Another third of the population dies. Eventually a band of Releadi forms to defend their planet from the superheroes, calling them “foreign interventionists.” They are wiped out easily but not before The Swapper betrays the other superheroes by joining them. Nate outsmarts him by shooting an object into the sun he was planning on swapping places with at just the right time. The returning object is so hot it fries those in the room where The Swapper once was. Nate has taken out both the traitor and his accomplices with one stone.
At last the Releadi are extinct. For the first time in history the superheroes have committed genocide. “It is a tragedy but we did the right thing by protecting the rest of the galaxy from these incredibly evil people,” Nate says.
“I wish I could be sure. Sometimes it is wise to choose one's battles,” a superhero says.
A second superhero says, “Very true, but there was no way to know how the battle would evolve once it was chosen. I for one thought it would be over quickly, but we very nearly started a civil war amongst ourselves.”
“In any case I was never given the choice to battle. Remember, they attacked me first,” Nate says.
“But a true hero sacrifices himself for the good of the galaxy. That is also in the oath,” the first superhero says. “You could have obeyed the police in spite of the danger.”
“Perhaps you are right, but there was no way to know that at the time. If every superhero always obeyed everyone who gave them an order, evil would always win. Is it right to trade the uncertain future of civil war for the certainty of perpetuating evil?” Nate stares at the sky. “There was no way to know.”